Remember the old black and white generic labels they used to have in the grocery stores? Some of you may be too young to remember that (you’re not missing anything). I remember my mom trying to be frugal and “saving money” in buying generic Sugar Corn Pops cereal at the local Dollar General. They were horrible! Couldn’t she drive a little farther to the grocery store, pay the extra ten cents to get the real thing instead of buying something that tasted like Styrofoam peanuts?
It reminds me of generic LinkedIn invitations.
LinkedIn has been around now almost eight years (EIGHT frickin’ YEARS) and to this day I continue to get your basic generic (what’s already written in the box for you) invitation to connect from people all over the planet.
Now I love connecting and being social. I especially love interacting with others (which some don’t think they need to do in social media) and the whole “community” thing. But when I receive a generic invitation to connect from someone it reminds me of the generic cereal that made me feel like my mom didn’t care enough about me to go the extra mile and get something fit to eat.
It literally sends me over the edge when I get these requests. Why, you say? Because if you can’t take a few seconds to delete what’s already written in there and tell me why you would like to connect with me, how connecting with me is beneficial for both of us, what common interests we share, or just say a quick hello or tell me a joke – then I don’t need to connect with you!
What it tells me is that you will more than likely be trying to sell me something, sending me all your blog posts, or something to that affect and not engaging with me on a personal or business level and I don’t have time for that.
Please, please, please – take the time to send a personal message, maybe even a thank you for connecting and (here’s a thought) to actually interact with whom you connect. You’ll be doing yourself a big favor and setting yourself apart from those that don’t have a clue!
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Today’s guest post was written by Susan Avello. Susan is Vice-President/Partner of Aging Info USA. A Chicago-based organization providing on-site education and training to corporations and their employees in regard to family care-giving and elder care. She is originally from Alabama but now resides in the suburbs of Chicago with her husband and two dogs.
Mike Corbett
I'm an offender! OK I admit it. I seldom add my own comment.
Couple reasons (OK, 4):
1. I don't usually have a fresh joke at my disposal. I don't even tell jokes in person. Writing one down would be torture.
2. I see this as the equivalent of seeing someone at the post office, or a store or coffee shop. Goes like this: "Hey (can't remember your name), how ya doin? Great, you? Fine. Business is good, you? Havin a good year. Good to see ya. You too. (if you're a Hoosier: Have a good one)" How's this any worse than that?
(then I find out my comment is too long. I'm splitting in two)
theworkingcaregiver
Well Mike, get with the program 🙂 Just a reminder to take a little time out and "make it count"…..
robbyslaughter
Here's my standard LinkedIn joke, in case you need one. Feel free to use this:
HELP! GIANT ROBOTS ARE ATTACKING THE oh actually I'd just like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn.
Susan Avello
that's awesome!
Mike Corbett
(second part of above comment)
3. Writing each one would take the equivalent of the time I'm putting into this, which is way more time than I like to spend on social media. I just want to connect, not spend a lot of time with you.
4. I thought the goal was to get to 500 connections so they stop counting (just kidding…I'll bet you don't subscribe to that strategy).
Anyway, I don't have a problem with people sending me generic invitations. Tells me they don't have anything else to say, which is fine by me. I could go on and on about peoplewho don't have anything to say but say stuff anyway. I'll spare you…..
Mike Corbett
Hamilton County Business Magazine
(connect to me if you like but don't expect a personalized invitation)
Ray
Susan, nice article and I whole heartily agree. I too hate to get those canned invitations. As you know first hand, I always write my own invites and send a thank you when someone accepts. I guess I'm old school.
Susan Avello
Thanks Ray – I appreciate your comment AND the fact that you don't like or use the canned invitations! Is that considered old school?
Derek
Every wedding I've attended in the past 30 years I've gotten a canned invitation to (translation, a printed invite, it may look pretty, but it's canned) in the mail. Perhaps the envelope is hand-addressed, and lick-stamped, but the invitation is canned. So now you're not going to attend the wedding because the invite is not personalized?
robbyslaughter
I LOVE to write silly LinkedIn invitations. It's a hobby of mine.
Usually I'll make an in-joke that references the relationship with the person to whom I am connecting.
Great post!
Susan Avello
🙂 Thanks again, Robby – I think I just threw in that "add a joke" to make a point! But perhaps, it works.
robbyslaughter
Personally, I think that what's most embarrassing is that LinkedIn even *provides* boilerplate text. That makes it far too easy to connect with someone you don't even know!
itsfinished
great post Susan, I can hear you saying all those "frickin"s 🙂 I feel your pain – I taste your generic corn pops.
ok everybody, send all your invites to @robbyslaughter for a personal touch – he enjoys it.
Susan Avello
LOL – Paul, I'm sure you can totally hear me say that 🙂 …you know me too well I just have no holding back in telling it like it is. See you soon!
Kristina Allen
Susan, I seriously feel your pain. I HATE generic LinkedIn invitations, unless I know the person really well in real life. For instance, I wouldn't expect a personal response from a close friend although he/she could just put "yo, add me" and that would be personal 😉
But from people I don't know, please 1.) don't indicate we've worked together if we haven't – it makes me wonder if you think I'm someone else and 2.) tell me why we should connect so I don't think you're trying to sell me something. (And if you are trying to sell me something, you're not a very good salesperson if you can't think up a quick pitch!).
It can just be a one liner like "Hey, met you briefly at XYZ would love to continue the conversation about ABC" or "MIssed you at XYZ would love to chat about ABC" or just "I'd love to chat about XYZ with you."
It it feels difficult or time consuming to come up with a quick line to add in the box, you may be connecting with the wrong people.
Great post!
Susan Avello
Great points, Kristina. I always appreciate a little note of when and where someone connected with me in person, if they had. It really helps to jog my memory. I try and do that as well. I agree on the personal level as well, not expected!
Kudos to you!
Rebecca H.
This article has a condescending tone to say the least, it smacks of, "I've been here for years, I know what I'm doing (which is more than you), and I've had time to let this seriously petty matter get under my skin."
Listen, it's always harder to be the one to make the first move. We all started out with zero (0) connections at one point and had to do the 'heavy lifting' in order to get the ball rolling, ie make all the initial connections by searching for people. I did 300 or 400 requests the first weekend, out of about 1000 people's names I had in my offline registry, it was a ton of rote work. And now come to find that I might have done it the 'wrong way'? Wow. Compare that to the person who already has a ton of connections, no longer searches themselves, and only has to respond – with a mouse click! My heart bleeds.
Susan Avello
Wow! You did 300 – 400 requests the first weekend?
Rebecca H.
Yes, almost 1000 searches (including plenty of Michael Smiths, John Deckers and Michael Coppolas (who knew there were 56 Michael Coppola hits in the New York area alone?) to yield a grand total of 386 people I could find (and kind of assume I had the right person) actually using LinkedIn at that time. So it's really not easy to match up all your offline contacts with LI users. It's grunt work to the max. When you're sitting back just fielding/deflecting requests you have no idea what went into it – that is, unless you did that kind of thing when you first started.
theworkingcaregiver
great point!
Susan Avello
Why thank you dear Suzy! We can all get overwhelmed by all of this – but for me, I set aside a certain time of day to try and respond and comment. It seems to work.
Susan Avello
Hi Derek, always happy to have one of you around "Devil's Advocate." I suppose we should give them some slack, not judging – maybe my expectations are too high? Maybe I just assume everyone has at least read "LinkedIN for Dummies"? when they finished "Twitter Marketing for Dummies"? I think maybe I'll shrink back in my corner for awhile 🙁
robbyslaughter
Hi there, I'm just replying to your comment to indicate agreement. I'd like you feel validated without me making much of an effort, which is why I've opted to leave the default text that appears in this box instead of making my own argument.
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Wouldn't online commenting on blogs be ridiculous if the above text appeared automatically? LinkedIn facilitates laziness by *having* text, and newbies and pros alike should recognize that generic human interactions are practically always a a bad idea.
Derek
Yes, it appears that it would be silly to have the text like that as you've written it especially with a sarcastic tone. But the fact is you wouldn't need to go to even that much trouble. Look at this page you're on. Agree – thumbs up – click! Disagree – thumbs down – click! A one-click indication of agreement. A non-creative, non-original, and non-personal one-click indication of agreement or disagreement. And social media has plastered these all over the internet. "Like" "Dislike" "Found helpful" "Didn't find helpful", on and on. One-finger, one-second, that's all it takes.
robbyslaughter
I don't have a problem with clicking the "thumbs up." Perhaps my fundamental complaint is that LinkedIn leaves in default text *at all*. If the box was blank by default, then you'd either leave it blank or write something. It's the generic use of the same text which is annoying.
Derek
A default connection should be no message at all, one click, message only when you need to explain yourself, as long as people don't get offended with no message (which they might, and blog about it). One the other end, a one click accept, reject, pass, along with a one-click 'could you help jog my memory, have we previously met?' – again no message needed, and none expected, ideally. But you could still have the option to send a personal message in both cases (hiding the message box until you click something would help in this regard).
I have to admit when I first got on LinkedIn I thought that default text was what the site creators preferred how you make the connection – setting a professional tone to it, and all that.
The bottom line for me is that this is probably more of a LinkedIn request for site enhancement, rather than an excuse to get worked up. Heck if this problem was in my list of 25 or so top problems I would be kissing the ground, and thankin my lucky stars.
robbyslaughter
Good point. I think by comparison, Facebook doesn't have any default text and you just make a "friend request." I prefer that system.
I think what Susan and I both dislike is people who you don't really know very well reaching out via LinkedIn with a generic message. I will meet someone for five minutes at a networking event and then get a generic request from them. I mean, if you don't know really me, at least remind me where we met! Put something from our five minute conversation into your request!
You are right, though, that this is not even close to the worst problem with LinkedIn. I'd love to see a blog post of the top 25 problems with LinkedIn—maybe you should contact Kyle Lacy and write that one!
Derek
I would but I'm still too new at it. I really want to get to know something beforehand. For example I was telling someone, "I really want to sort my cards into piles" (we were remembering collecting baseball cards as kids and sorting them into teams) "I can't see a way to group these folks", and then a day later discovered custom tags. Now my contacts are all in the proper piles.
Gotta put the work in.
Derek
I've put a little thought into it since this morning. There are three possibilities in a LinkedIn connection request:
1. You really don't know them, and they don't know you. No one has to accept a connection. If you don't know them, you can set it aside, and go about your day. No need for frickin' this and frackin' that. If you let your feathers get that unruffled that easily, there's always a career in sorting and filing library books.
2. If you know them already, and expect (not appreciate, expect) a clever and original 'how do you do', that's just your own ego needing reinforcement. Check it at the door.
3. If you think you might know them, but are not sure, why assume that they have to assume you can't remember them, that your mind is addled, or that you are losing your memory? It's not a good feeling to think of yourself as utterly forgettable either. It's a nice thing if they recall that time has passed and that you might need a reminder, but that's a 'nice-to-have', not a reason to go ballistic.
The comment Robby made comparing it to a blog post is off-point and a poor analogy. It's just a connection (an most of the time, a reconnection), not an opinion. It should be the easy, painless, first step in a long-term series of future meaningful connections. We are people that are constantly saying "How are you?" "Fine, how are you?" "Doin' great" This is just our reality.
robbyslaughter
I think the irony is that the better you know someone, the less there is a need to say anything in the LinkedIn introduction.
After all, if we're best buds of course I know who you are. But if our connection might benefit from a brief reminder, than please *write something.*
theworkingcaregiver
@Robby, agreed. @Derek – The use of the word "frickin' was to show my frustration at the lack of time it takes for someone to fill in a short message. Maybe I have made the assumption that people genuinely know how to connect instead of perhaps being a newby and not properly informed with social etiquette. I was once a newby and totally get it! Your points are truly validated – perhaps I should cut down on the coffee and come down off the caffeine and relax 🙂
Geralynn
AFAICT you’ve ceovred all the bases with this answer!
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theworkingcaregiver
Aw, thanks Jonathan. No, you are not the only one that thinks that. I continue to get them to this day, and I hesitate a moment and think "should I re-post this article" for those nitwits! And I shrug it off.